Little bub goes to nursery

Roz went for what was about her first full day at nursery today: seven hours. So far so good.

The first time we visited the nursery everything was fine. The other children weren't there so Roz just lay on a mat entertaining herself with various rattles while I chatted to her key worker, Melissa, for about an hour.

The next day, I left her for a bit and that was not so good. They showed me to the parents' room and said I could wait there for the hour it was to last. I said I needed to drop some forms off at the administration office across the garden so would go and come back. I came back and made a cup of coffee and before it had even cooled for me to sip, Roz's key worker came to find me saying she was er a bit distraught. That was hmm maybe 15 or 20 minutes after I'd left.

Poor Roz. She looked so indignant and was bawling her heart out, her entire head wet with sweat and tears. I tried staying with her a bit longer and then giving her back to Melissa, but she was having none of it. As soon as she was with Melissa she started bawling again and reaching for me. So in the end we went home, having hung around the nursery a bit longer, trying to interest her in the toys and children there.

Oh the look she gave me when we walked back to the car. Not quite 'how could you do this to me?' but calculations. You're not the mother I thought you were. I think that was more painful.

The third day she was supposed to have tea but the minute I deposited her in a chair at the table with the other children she looked at me suspiciously. Then she surveyed the other children, turned back to me, and her mouth curved upside-down. It opened in a silent wail. Melissa picked her up and put her in the rocking chair and I scurried away. But when I came back to get her she was sitting quietly and resignedly in the chair. So not so bad then.

So those were the induction days. Or hours rather.

This week was her first full week but I hadn't the heart to leave her there eight hours straight given her previous reactions. So yesterday she was there from 0930 till 1330. And today she was there from 1000 to 1700. Well apparently she's been fine both days.

On Monday they said she'd been quite happy, had a cuddle with Amy and slept for an hour and a half, which was good. She was being rocked in the chair again when I came for her and was looking not unhappy.

As soon as she saw me she tried a wail which I forestalled by going 'Uh uh, saw you earlier and you weren't crying, no point trying it on now.' Quite amazed she seemed to listened. Extremely gratified when she burrowed her face into my shoulder.

Today she was also quite happy - and they have a photo of her smiling on the front of her diary to prove it. Her group was in the baby soft play room when I came to get her. It's on the second floor of the building and I could hear her wailing from the stairs as I walked up, though not in the hysterical register. Just generally. And she stopped when I got there. I could hear Melissa saying she quite liked having things in her hands and sure enough she had a spoon in one again and a bickie peg in the other.

Unlike the previous days, where she's given me the cold shoulder for a couple of hours after I pick her up - impassive face when I coo about how clever she's been and hasn't she had fun - today she seemed to accept me again a bit faster, which is nice. So I'm hoping the poor munchkin is adapting and learning that nursery is actually going to be quite fun.

Funnily I don't think I was so torn with Izzy. Maybe because she'd had so much more of my undivided attention. Or maybe because I was back at work already and so had much less time to think. Probably because I think I've had a lot more fun with Roz, despite the fact that it's often been at activities for her older sister, this time off.

Anyway. I'm pretty much ready to return to work I guess. The list of things I have to do is being whittled down and once I'm past the slight worry of baking adequate cupcakes for Jackie this Friday, one of two members of staff who won't be continuing at the new nursery, that will be it.

Well OK that and finding accommodation for the potential weekend away this weekend. We might have to chuck in Hay-on-Wye as apparently there's a huge horse sale taking place there this weekend which might explain why the only accommodation we've found available so far is a £125-per-night cottage full of furniture that looks as though it would break under the assault of the running, leaping, dancing imp that Izzy has become.

I've bought two new pairs of jeans, some funky shoes. I love them. First because they were on sale from £69 to £39. Second because I love the colour. And third because they are so comfy! I traipsed round the mall all afternoon looking for jeans and - wah! - no blisters! So they will be my reason to get up on those cold winter mornings.

This will be round five of 'let's try and dress not like a 15-year-old ASBO when I go back to work this time'. Let's see if I succeed.

Also bought an azada - a cangkul to folks back home - for the allotment. I know. The irony. Three generations of immigrants and I get all the way to the streets of gold only buy a bloody cangkul to till the soil with. Well I need to clear the plot before winter and a spade is hard work on the back. That's also on my list of things to do this week.

So I think I'm ready. Today I got an email telling me I have a tonne of annual leave to use up before next March. Time to start booking days off I think.

No prizes for guessing what happened

Sam's seventh birthday party

That would be Humungous Sam, known before as Big. Little there on the left is now Bigger Sam. And Izzy is still diddy next to them. This is such a lovely picture but it also breaks my heart to realise how quickly they have moved out of toddlerhood - even diddy Izzy.

Oops

Rats. About five minutes ago I remembered that Izzy was supposed to have gone to gym class today. I completely forgot, and this explains why the Friday felt so unfrenetic for once. Argh. And she's missing next week's as well because we will hopefully be on holiday. Nuts.

This is what comes of sleeping really late the night before because I was trying to sort out my list of things to do before I go back to work - like finally open Roz's Child Trust Fund with the £250 the government gave her. Izzy's, by the way, is now down to £204 I think, haha, which I hope is a sign that it's a good time for Roz to start investing anyway.

Am also pondering buying Izzy this now, for Christmas - ie what I wanted to buy her for her fourth birthday before the evil Disney princess diary thingabob was advertised a million times on TV - and so escape the possibility of it being sold out for Christmas. Because how cute is it?

I figure I might because I also thought of buying one of the nursery girls this book as a leaving present. She's saving up to go travelling in Kerala next year. I just don't know whether it's better to read a good book about a place or just go see for yourself.

See I loved Elias Canetti's The Voices of Marakkesh - especially the detail about the line of blind men standing outside the souk. Then when I went there and actually found them, they suddenly turned slightly touristy.

Er those aren't strictly on my list. It's more things like get the rugs professionally cleaned because they're a bit mucky, ditto the picnic blanket, and dig out my work wardrobe again and iron a couple of outfits so that I can pretend I'm making an effort in at least the first week back at work.

There are just too many damned things happening for me to keep track without a blinking written-down list. I might have to add 'get new diary for lists' to my list.

Nothing new

Anyway one other thing that we did today was take Roz for another audiology test - that behavioural follow-up one. What it is, is that they take the baby into the room, then play a sound and accompany it with some visual stimulation as a sort of reward - in this case a toy in a dark box is lit up. Then they play just the sounds to see if baby responds once she's learned to associate the toy with the sounds.

Unfortunately Roz was much more interested in the audiologist sat in front of her, who was meant to only slightly distract her, just to keep her interested in proceedings. Several times you could see her eyebrows lift when the sounds came on but she just wasn't very bothered about looking at the toy. She did once or twice, of her own accord, but really wasn't very fussed.

Then they tried shaking a rattle softly at the side of one ear. But she didn't bother turning. But she didn't bother turning even when the other tester tickled her ear, so they concluded she really was a bit too fascinated with the first. Ah well. So unfortunately we learned nothing new today but have another appointment to come back in six weeks' time.

Poor Roz also seems to have a bit of a temperature. She seemed to be a bit quiet today, and was sleeping a bit more than normal. But we did have quite a full-on day yesterday, having gone round to Amy's and spent the afternoon in her parents' lovely garden. So I didn't think much of it until I picked her up around 5pm, and felt her warm forehead. She's not as warm now as she was earlier so hopefully it's nothing serious.

Because we have young Tara on a sleepover here tonight, before she and her family leave for Delhi for a year! And I still have to wrap presents for Felix's birthday party tomorrow, Sam's on Sunday, and remember to lend his mom various plastic boxes to transport food in. Then there's the thank-you cards to get written for Izzy's lot of beautiful gifts. And the presents for the nursery closure to sort, accommodation to book for our weekend away, a visit from Shriyaa who couldn't make the party last weekend but has a present for Izzy, several library books to round up and return...

God. I need to go and start writing.

Roz amusing herself

She's hanging upside down off my lap there. I tried to slide her back upright a few times before realising there was method in her madness.

Izzy at first position

That's her on the left. View from the little window in the door.

Roz babbling

We finally held the party at Bucklebury Farm

Only a year after Izzy first asked for one there too. We lucked out with the warmest day in September so far, I think. Loads of her buddies came with their folks, so there were plenty of adults to hand to corral the children, which made it very easy for Alex and I. Here we all are on the trailer ride to see and feed the park deer.

It's getting to rutting season. Fortunately we weren't very far in or I'm sure there would have been many an awkward question to answer.

Roz behaved impeccably. Alex had her in the sling for almost the entire afternoon, and she didn't utter a peep of complaint. Probably had loads to occupy her. Did have a good old crying fit that night as I got Izzy ready for bed though, to the point of throwing up. Alex and I reckon she's more bloody-minded than her sister. But then I suppose she has to clamour more for attention, poor bub.

Feeding the farm animals was fun, though I always think Alex gets a bigger kick out of it than any of the kids do.

As we were driving to the farm, I happened to catch this story - about how children under five shouldn't be allowed to pet or feed farm animals - on the radio. Perfect timing, no?

There was the usual fun on the slides. Here's Martha's first go on the slide - she was smiling at the end though, honest.

I, unfortunately, missed several adults going down the drop slide as well. These are to the right of these yellow slides - and you basically have a more-or-less straight drop down from about one story up. I've done it before, on being dared by Alex, but have since felt no desire to repeat the feat. Instead, I goaded several other parents into trying.

Last treat of the day before we were chased off the park.

So I think it was a good one

We were extremely lucky and today was the hottest it has been for a few weeks. The kids had a ball and we agreed this time at least we weren't stressed at the party itself. Never again will I consider providing our own entertainment.

Several hours later...

Night before the birthday party

It's almost midnight

And I really need to sleep but I am relishing being by myself too much. Maybe Roz is sensing the impending nursery time coming up. These last two days she's really driven me slightly round the bend with the wailing for me to carry her all the time.

Today she sat in the Baby Bumbo watching me cook dinner and howling her little head off to the point of choking on her own snot and saliva. She did it twice before I gave in and got hold of her and proceeded to cook the rest of dinner with one hand. Little bandit.

A few nights ago she was waking on the hour because of a cold we both had. That, at least, I could understand and forgive. Then, after a particularly bad night she slept loads the next day and I was pleased. Until she woke up at 9pm and proceeded to boogie on down till 2am.

I'm not kidding. She was having a ball. She couldn't get enough of playing with the toys lying around and squawking like a buzzard. I was seriously worried the neighbours would start complaining when it got to 1am.

And when she wasn't squawking or shaking a rattle - she's discovered she can shake it by moving her wrist up and down; spent several minutes looking at her hand doing this - she was rolling all round our bed and clawing at my face or hair, or her sister's.

She's lucky Izzy's so good-humoured. On being woken by Roz's squawking and hair-pulling, she giggled. I thought Roz's noises had worked their way into her dreams but no, she opened her eyes and laughed at her sister. Thank god. Because if she'd been whiny I would've all but jumped out the window.

We have a king-sized bed and you'd think that'd be enough for me and a baby and toddler, wouldn't you? But no. They both migrate. So come morning I am sandwiched between the two of them, usually sleeping on my side, one arm dead. I might start sleeping on the floor.

So anyway what with all the broken sleep and everything, despite a short nap this morning and yesterday's to try and make up, I was a complete zombie on auto-pilot today.

Then, after dropping Izzy off at nursery today, I passed Jude, a colleague and friend, whose second child is only three weeks older than Roz. She had her older son on her shoulders and was pushing baby in the pushchair. And she looked as shattered as I felt. Gave her a huge smile, a wave and the thumbs-up sign. Then texted her later to make sure she knew I wasn't making fun of her.

Yeah I think maternity leave this time round has been much more fun because I have friends going through the same pain.

Countdown

And the other news of import is that Roz had her induction at nursery today. It wasn't a big deal. She lay on the mat while her key worker, who's called Melissa, explained a bunch of things to me, and was quite happy to play with all the toys available. I still have yet to read the folder of stuff (policies and crap) I got given. Melissa seemed nice enough and quite on the ball.

There was a slightly worrying moment when I explained about Roz's suspected milk allergy and asked if they had alternative formulas or whether I'd have to go get some on prescription. Because Roz has an appointment with a paediatrician but it's not until blinking November. She listened attentively and then said she'd ask the room leader about it.

So then the room leader, Anita, came back with a list of brands of formula they had and read it out to me, in what she must have imagined was a reassuring and kindly manner. So I had to explain the damn dairy thing again.

And all the while she kept saying 'Yes, most people recommend the Aptamil follow-on after breastfeeding...' So I explained about the dairy allergy again. And she kept smiling, at which point I gave up hope and thought ah well, as long as they just don't give her anything that'll be fine.

Fortunately though before I left, she came back and told me that she'd checked and if Aptamil wasn't up to it, then I could get something on prescription. So I am quite sure she understood what I said. Eventually.

So we have some dates next week for more visits, and I'll actually leave the room during some so we'll see how Roz gets on then. None of the babies were there when I was there today as they'd gone for a walk but it will be interesting to see how she gets on with other babies there.

I just hope they don't all pull her hair.

Right really need to sleep now. God please let Roz have a good night. Tomorrow we - haha did I say we? I meant I. I need to shop for the food for Izzy's party on Saturday. I'd planned to make a cake decorated with candy melt butterflies, having seen some in this book. But the butterflies I was inspired by in that blinking book were clearly piped by bloody professionals, not the some other cack-handed amateur.

So at the moment I'm mightily displeased with my bloody butterflies. This woman describes my underwhelment exactly. They should look more like this. Why didn't the bloody book say you should only work on one wing at a time because the candy quickly? It's taken me halfway through the bags of melts to realise this! I should have just looked up blogs in the first place.

If I can summon the strength I might try some more tomorrow if I remember to buy some more freezer bags to pipe with.

But heck she's still only four. This may be the last year I can get away with amateur cake decoration. So maybe I will. One lousy marzipan fairy is enough, surely.

Absolute last of the autumn harvest

Baby veg for Roz to nibble on, sweet cherry tomatoes and a totally overgrown cucumber.

Ingenious or lazy?

The line between is thin.

How much do we heart the toy library?

Sooo much. Especially since they are closed for refurbishment in October so all our loans are now for two months instead of one.

Rabbit fanciers

One of the fringe benefits of half an hour to kill when Izzy's ballet is on are the fringe events in the hall.

Ballet class

Surely only am excuse to dress your daughter up in cute pink things. And I don't even like baby pink.

More birthday post!

Yay thanks kongkong and popo!

No fairies were harmed in the making of this cake

Sweet. Izzy's wish was that Roz would be her friend forever and ever.

We're having to sing again

Her new big treat is lighting the candles and cutting her own slices of cake.

I-S-A-B-E-L spells out Isabel

Birthday post

Thanks Aunty Soph and Uncle Adi!

The remains of the birthday cake

Whee!

Two times the fun

Izzy on her fourth birthday

Why am I blogging at this hour?

Because Roz and Izzy keep interrupting my sleep throughout the night, so that I keep falling asleep every time I put them to bed, only to wake at about 11, determined to salvage some form of life. Yes, by turning to the internet. It's better than late-night TV.

Anyway I only wanted to add the quick note that Roz seems to have begun noticing Izzy in the last few weeks. It might be Izzy's boisterous way of playing with her: sticking her fingers ruthlessly into the folds of Roz's neck to tickle her, and putting her hands on her body and shaking her furiously while singing 'Will your horse give us a gallop, Uncle Joe, Uncle Joe'.

It doesn't help that every time I tell her off for doing it, it's to the backdrop of Roz laughing uproariously. So Izzy tends to ignore me, shrugging her shoulders, and saying 'she likes it'.

Please tell social services this when I get done for shaken baby syndrome.

Anyway Roz will now actually turn to Izzy for attention. It's only happened once or twice but, sometimes, when we're sitting on the sofa together, she'll start pulling Izzy's shirt - mainly to eat it - but then when Izzy clowns for her, she'll laugh and then move towards her again, purely for attention. Only of course by then Izzy's usually turned back to the TV. But you can see Roz's face light up if Izzy turns to her for a few seconds.

Today we were sitting on the floor and Izzy was on the sofa, and Roz kept turning around on my lap and throwing herself backwards. I was getting a bit irritated with her, as I was trying to eat dinner at the same time, until I realised it was because she was trying to look at Izzy behind her. When I asked Izzy to sit next to us, Roz was happy.

Some of my favourite times of the day now are when I put the two girls to bed. Roz, once fed, is usually in a good mood and happy to be in the quiet of the bedroom. She usually listens to Izzy's three bedtime stories, looking at both of us with good humour, and only occasionally tries to eat the books.

Alex gets this in the morning, when the two girls are awake and Izzy's usually bouncing off the bedroom walls trying to get us to get up earlier than we want to.

Am enjoying it all like heck. Especially since I confirmed with my boss last Friday that I start work again on 5 October. Sob.

Izzy meets T-rex at the Pitt-Rivers Museum

We liked very much, especially the children's activities on Sunday. And we finally got to see the shrunken heads. Spooky.

Fairy for Izzy's birthday cake at nursery

Took me about an hour to make this. Surprisingly fun.

Am so proud I have to add a higher-res pic. Or three.

Does its bum look big?

On our first train ride together

To Oxford with Aunty Cassie and Brett today.

'Mummy, mushroom soup is scrumptious!'

Yes I only had to badger her three times to eat it.

Peppers were good

Though she only sucked on them.

Feeding baby

As you can see from the blogs below, the weaning's not going too badly although Roz isn't really eating large quantities of food in any way nor showing any keeness to do so. But I suppose initially the idea is to just get them used to eating things anyway - which she is certainly doing. She seems reassured to be given anything that looks like something on my plate.

I tried her on Plum Baby pouches, er because they were on sale at Boots this week, and was really quite impressed.

The spinach, parsnip and basil one is a dark khaki sludge, but it tastes quite fruitily of basil and Roz liked it enough to actually have several teaspoons of the She must have eaten about a tablespoon plus on her first go but then, sadly, seemed to tire of it at sequent servings. That or I haven't really worked her into a routine for feedings and sometimes catch her at the wrong time.

She quite liked the squash and sweet potato one I gave her today too.

You can keep the pouches in the fridge for two days and I reckon she ate about two-thirds of the first one. Each pouch cost 79p on sale, they're usually something like 89-109p.

I do have several ice-cube-sized portions of rice and apple, and lentils, and they cost practically nothing each, and wastage is probably minimal given I can defrost them one at a time, but hey for 40p a pop per meal, without any bother, and with the knowledge that it actually tastes nice enough for me to want to eat the rest, and the reassurance that you can take them anywhere, these pouches are actually quite good.

I know they're probably no different to anything you can get in a jar and, for some reason I never contemplated giving Izzy anything in a jar, but the pouches... well let's just say I'm looking forward to moving her onto stage 2 (7 months onward) type foods from Ella's Kitchen as well.

And texture certainly seems to intrigue her as much as flavour. I think I will probably try to mix some fresh foods into the stuff I made. Roz seemed to really enjoy munching on the peas I gave her today. She didn't seem to regard them as food, and took ages to swallow any, but gosh she seemed to have a good time grinding at them with her gums.

Baby gear

A friend lent us a Bumbo seat a few weeks ago. It's take Roz a while to get used to it but today she spent a happy 15 minutes in it, pulling some toys out of a box near her and playing with them. At one point she kept arching herself backwards, a bit alarmingly, to look at a particular toy. But then always seemed able to pull herself forward again. So I left her there. Hurrah!

Am now wondering whether to get her another Tripp Trapp, like Izzy has, or whether to just comandeer Izzy's. One one hand it's really better that Izzy has a seat at the right height for her. On the other we don't really have a lot of space in the living room for another chair. Argh.

I do remember Izzy being very happy in her Tripp Trapp at the table though and it would be really nice for Roz to sit with us. I would love a Sitti too but £300 for a child's chair is a bit ridiculous. Even if it is very, very pretty.

But no, no, because if I wanted to splurge, it would be on one of these things, to get round the traffic pile-up at the 1730 nursery pick-up.

In order of lust quotient and likely probability of being able to get it up the two ruddy hills to work: Bakfiest Cargobike, Trikidoo, Kangaroo, Nihola Cigar and Zigo Leader. Found all of these after initially researching the Christiania bike, before reluctantly conceding I'd probably never be able to get that up the hills.

Wonder how long one of these would last on the mean streets of Reading town?

Didn't I say we heart the toy library?

Izzy pretends this toy makes sour sweets and Roz can play with it for 10-15 minutes at a time, which is ages for a baby.

Broccoli fascinated her

For about five or so munches.

See her teeth?

They are just two little serrated nubs. Very sharp.

Menu du jour

Peas with their skins taken off and bitten in half. She did quite well on these, happily munching about 10 over the course of my lunch, before demanding a drink. Onward, half-hearted baby-led weaning.

Bank holiday fun

We visited another farm park but Izzy spent most of her time on this bouncy slide. Poor ducks were ravenous which is a bit alarming considering how over-fed most park animals seem.

Face painting - the next stage

I should have seen it coming. Once they realise face paint is just like makeup forget doing it for them, they want to do it themselves. In this case it was Alessia painting a princess face for Izzy.